The MTV Youth Marketing Forum (YMF), better known as the MTV Age of Sinnocence, was an extraordinary event that set a landmark precedent as far as extraordinary events and landmark precedents are concerned. Some of the extremely best and universe-shatteringly widely known youth marketers and opinion leaders came together on one platform and explained, analysed and showed us how the world can be changed merely by attending forums such as these.
And now that I have said the truth and nothing but the truth in the above paragraph, which has absolutely nothing to do with me trying to make sure that I’m not fired for what I write in the below paragraphs, I shall subtly and indirectly hint at what we learnt at the YMF (apart from some pathbreaking marketing trends and incredible youth insights)… that had nothing to do with YMF:
Of all the very important things we learnt at the YMF, like the importance of the internet in the world, the importance of the youth in the world, and the importance of the youth using the internet in the world, the biggest lesson learnt was: It’s too dangerous to let Cyrus Broacha loose in public.
Babies were born at the Comedy Store that day because their pregnant mothers laughed so hard, some people lost their sense of smell because they popped some veins from laughing their asses off, and it’s been reported that ‘Broacha’ now translates to ‘mentally unhinged’ in certain African languages – all because Cyrus was asked to host the event.
We also learnt that day that India TV has finally taken over the world. In a chilling turn of events (in the otherwise largely extraordinarily awesome proceedings), Cyrus decided to pop ‘the’ question to the various camerapersons recording the event. As much as we were expecting him to ask them to marry him or strip naked – Cyrus did something much more demented and off-limits. He asked them: “Do you know what event this is?”
There was deathly silence, especially in the first row where sat the people who had spent on this event, the money they had earned by years of sweat, toil and making people believe that Raghu is the male reincarnation of Lalita Pawar. The answer ‘I don’t know’ would have sent shockwaves down the spines of the sponsors who had probably spent days and nights fighting for their logo to be one inch bigger, except for another lesson learnt that day: when Priyanka Chopra comes on stage, no one remembers what was happening.
It was perhaps Priyanka Chopra’s hotness that taught us the most about ‘Sinnocence’: it taught us that men like Cyrus Broacha have to visit the loo every time Priyanka makes physical contact, that she would not mind ‘kissing women on screen’ if ‘the role demanded it’ (read: if she was offered more money than the Income Tax department took from her) and that ‘Are you dating Shahid Kapur’ is still the most important trend that needs to be addressed on a forum about trend spotting.
And as far as trends go, it was interesting to know, that even at the age of 67, Rajiv Lakshman was still considered young enough to be clubbed with a youth panel. It was also interesting to know that for Rajiv, every debate ends with, “I made Roadies” – because everyone laughs so hard they can’t remember what they were saying. And it was most interesting to know that Rajiv is introduced as “the man who is also known as Raghu all over India”.
Of course, not Cyrus, not Priyanka and not Rajiv can prove that YMF was a success as much as the applause that the event received when the ‘knee cap’ was brought to the audience’s attention – to be used – *drum rolls* – for the rare occasions the woman decides to go down on the man. *Whistle, whistle*
Note: This column first appeared in MTV Noise Factory in June, 2011
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