WTF Libido of the Year – Ranbir Kapoor’s drive
If the tabloids are right, at last count, Ranbir Kapoor has shared more than just screen space with: Katrina Kaif, Priyanka Chopra, Deepika Padukone, Sonam Kapoor and recently-in-news hottie, Nargis. He has also done more than just movies with them, enjoyed more than just their company, and practiced more than just his lines with them…. If you know what we mean.
WTF Quote of the Year – Tie between Vidhu Vinod Chopra’s and Suresh Kalmadi’s tongue of slips
Q: Is Chetan Bhagat a human being or an alien? Vidhu Vinod Chopra (VVC): ‘You shut up!’ Q: ‘How does VVC celebrate New Years?’ VVC: ‘You shut up!’ Q: How did the chicken cross the road? VVC: ‘You shut up!’ Q: What’s the one thing you should never tell the media? VVC: ‘You shut up!’ Q: What advice should Suresh Kalmadi be given if he isn’t sure Princess Diana is dead or alive? VVC: ‘You shut up!’
WTF Award of the Year – Arjun Rampal is Best Supporting ‘Actor’ for Rock On
Arjun Rampal winning a National Award for ‘acting’ was like Yuvraj Singh winning Least Fat Cricketer Award, Mimoh winning the Best Name Award, Shekhar Suman winning Best Cleavage Award or Justin Bieber winning Most Facial Hair Award (Male). Only, it was WORSE.
WTF English of the Year – Shahid Kapoor’s attempts at tweeting
If we EVER come to read news about Shahid Kapur not landing a job (or a hot girl) in Hollywood (or in any English-medium office for that matter), we will KNOW it’s because they read his (its?) Twitter feed. Sample the tweets: “Sonams bday today ….. Wonderful girl .. With the sweetest smile ….. Sure she will do her parents” (We hope she doesn’t. That would be super inappropriate). “Is of no use pourin clean water in a dirty vessel so pour luv on those who r capable of acceptin it unadulterated :)” (Pour love ON those? POUR!? Libido Award contender, aren’t you?)
WTF Social Movement of the Year – Breast Cancer Awareness on Facebook
Question: How does ‘Saucy Red ;)’, ‘Perforated black ;)’, ‘Rainbow hehehe’, ‘Dalmation type polka-dotted’ or ‘Boring white sigh’ help in spreading awareness about breast cancer? Answer: They don’t! Girls who started this unique movement on Facebook to spread awareness by… err… writing their bra colours, elicited ONLY the following responses in boys: a) ‘WTF?’ and b) ‘Boobs!’
WTF Style Statement of the Year – Yana Gupta goes commando
From Mandakini and Zeenat Aman to err.. Anil Kapoor and and Sourav Ganguly, showing skin on camera is the best way to get talked about for years. But Yana Gupta went where no woman has gone before. And no, we don’ mean KRK’s bedroom.
WTF Dialogue of the Year – ‘Chakakachakabakabakachakachaka’ (Raavan)
For a guy who is supposed to have 10 heads, each equipped with its own tongue in working condition, Raavan in Mani Ratnam’s Raavan could only manage a tongue with the speech pattern worse than Khali. The fact that Abhishek Bachchan was cast in the movie, combined with the sounds he made (Worse than ‘No Idea?’), gave us new reasons to hate Raavan.
WTF Music Video of the Year – by Ashmit Patel
‘Poochte hain log hamesha yeh sawaal, kahan tha? Kahan kho gaya, tu itne saal?’ Yes, apparently people ASK Ashmit Patel where he was lost all along (probably because he’s been found again since then). For the WTF rap video of all time, which has the power to make Eminem suicidal and Baba Sehgal respectable, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZECe9KWXSw
WTF Lyrics of the Year – ‘Something something jailhouse rock’ (We Are Family)
Thank God Elvis Presley is no more. Because had he been alive, he would not only have left the building, but he would have f**king destroyed the building and himself NOT before slaying Karan Johar, Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy and Irshad Kamil for the cold blooded murder of his iconic song, ‘Jailhouse rock’. Something something FAIL.
WTF Movies of 2010 – Tie between Hissss and Dunno Y… Na Jaane Kyun
It was the year of No Problem, Tees Maar Khan, Prince, Veer and Raavan, but these two movies were so WTF that if they would have released in the year of 2050 – A Love Story, Harman Baweja may still have had a career. Hissss proved that Mallika Sherawat can not only ruin Bollywood movies, she can do equally worse to (and in) Hollywood movies. And Dunno Y proved that… well, it just proved that sometimes the title of the film is NOT the most WTF thing about it!
WTF Creature of 2010 – Dolly Bindra
TIME magazine may call it the Person Of The Year Award but we believe in abbreviations. We will just call it POTY award. Reserved for that one person in the year who walks POTY, talks POTY, does POTY, looks like POTY… you get the drift. And the POTY award goes to the one, and only (hopefully) Dolly Bindra.
She came, she shat, she conquered. And the reason she wins this award over other POTY candidates like Suresh Kalmadi, Lalit Modi, Rakhi Sawant, Nira Radia and Ashok Chavan is because while they did POTY behind our back, and without our knowledge, Bindra does it ON OUR FACES. With OUR HELP. Shame on her? No, shame on us!
WTF Performance of 2010 – Indian Sportspersons
When you see Saina Nehwal – a BADMINTON player who doesn’t need a nose ring to become a phenomenon – winking at you from a hoarding; When, despite having Suresh Kalmadi’s ugly face, ugly beard, ugly words and ugly actions shoved into your face, you are distracted by the winning ways of Indian sportspersons; And when Sachin Tendulkar becomes so great that he beats Rajnikanth at his own jokes, you LOVE going WTF!
WTF Movie of The Year – Udaan
‘Coming of Age?’ in NOT Mallika Sherawat-movie way? Check. ‘It’s different’ in NOT Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag way? Check. Spectacular screenplay, brilliant acting, superior direction AND a music score that didn’t need an item song to be awesome? CHECK. Udaan made us go WTF for all the right reasons. Including making it to Cannes.
WTF Faces of The Year (Entertainment) – Ranveer Singh and Pradyuman Singh
Let’s face it. When you first saw Ranveer Singh’s photo plastered on a Yash Raj Films poster, you DID go, ‘WTF?’ The guy who made us actually consider that reverse-evolution may be happening, and made us believe that if HE can be an actor, we can be too, also turned out to be the WTF talent of the year! He shares honours ith Pradyuman Singh, who put the Osama in OMG.
WTF Trend of the Year – The Return Of Desi
You know what’s desi? Going to Hollywood and dancing vulgarly on the Oscar stage. Making films for the ‘multiplex audience’ that are based in Jamshedpur, Peepli, Janakpuri or the badlands of UP. Worshipping men in moustaches or their replicas in machine form and being proud of it. Rising above the skewed sex ratio in your state to encouraging the daughters to be sportspersons. 2010 truly ditched the ‘WTF ya’ for ‘Kya behenc**d’!
Note: This article first appeared on MTVIndia.com on December 31, 2010
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